Neo Retros biography

Skyboy

Skyboy was born into a family of treehuggers sometime when treehugging was at its peak during the 1970s. When his parents traitorously abandoned their profession to enter the timber industry, Skyboy was forced to go it alone. He eventually became a leading member in the International Treehugging Association, with his growing reputation allowing him to take up prestigious posts hugging trees in Catalonia, Piedmont and the Black Forest, until one fateful day a tree he was hugging in the Carpathian mountains in Poland was struck by lightning and Skyboy decided to abandon his perilous profession and move to the city where he met Q a person who fascinated Skyboy through his passion for technology.

Q

Q was one of the first true test-tube babies where a fertilized egg was placed into a test-tube. As the fetus grew, it was transferred into larger test-tubes until eventually the glass shattered and Q was born. Maybe due to his being a pioneer in this field, Q decided that science and technology would be his area of expertise. He became close friends with leading lights in hi-tech industries, had conference calls with Steve Jobs on Fridays and was regularly invited to supper with Bill and Melinda Gates at weekends. It was always inevitable that Q would become close to Skyboy due to their contrasting backgrounds, Junior meanwhile, literally stole his way into their lives:

Junior

Junior, formally known as juvenile delinquent, was a kleptomaniac, a drug abuser, a punk, a skunk, a vandal with murderous tendencies, in a word – a very naughty boy. It was clear that he was rotten from the very beginning - after one week he stole the incubator he was in from the hospital, and as soon as he had learnt how to walk, he decided to run away from home to steal his own milk. Psychologists would examine him, Priests would preach right and wrong to him, but to no avail, Junior it seemed was beyond help. That was until one day he was on the point of stealing a tree from the local garden centre, Skyboy hearing the muffled noises emanating from the tree rushed to its aid, educated Junior on the art of treehugging and Junior was saved – every night before he goes to bed, he reads a chapter of “The Animals of Farthing Wood”, and sleeps under a sign bearing the words: “Why harm when you can hug?”

Mr S

Once upon a time Mr S would represent everything Junior despised in society – authority, autocracy, obedience and self-discipline – for Mr S was a man of the law. Mr S was never allowed to address his mother and father as anything other than Sir and Madam - consequently he has no knowledge of what the “S” stands for in his name. His parents insisted on him reciting the Lord’s Prayer five times before breakfast, five times before lunch and ten times before dinner, and on one occasion when he lost count and recited it eleven times, he was spanked. Mr S followed in his father’s footsteps and entered the police service, he was a diligent worker and coined the police service’s “Find or Frame” motto. That was until one glorious summer’s day, Mr S himself was framed. Junior planted 0.0001grammes of cocaine in Mr S’s scalp. Scandalised, shamed and disinherited from his family, Mr S set off in search of Junior, seeking revenge but finding music. For it was when Mr S – a baritone - found Junior, Q and Skyboy singing to trees in urgent need of a baritone, that Neo Retros were complete. The sound has retained it’s natural quality, but the audience is now less wooden.

This is the true story of Skyboy, Q, Junior and Mr S with a few additions for dramatic effect.